Intimacy, Happiness and Pleasures

Intimacy starts with the self. It is based on accurate knowledge of who we are- who we really are - and being able to decode and decipher what we feel. Self honesty and having a strong sense of our own identity are fundamental requirements. We also need to feel safe and secure enough within ourselves to be open and vulnerable with our mates, to reveal ourselves as both strong and weak, courageous and fearful, adult and childlike. Intimacy involves trust. We must be able to trust ourselves and trust that we can truly be ourselves with our partner and what they are safe to be themselves with us.

Intimacy in love relationships is as necessary to both men and women as the oxygen we breathe. But can everyone be intimate, both emotionally and sexually? Intimacy is a problem for those of us who have not attained a sense of identity. When one fears the loss of one's identity - by merging with the other person becoming one with them, losing that precious piece of you which you feel is all you have- that person begins to move away from intimate relationships, in friendships and in love/sexual bonding

So we are not as happy as we might be - not in our everyday lives, not in our love lives. And it is not because our lives or our loves are lacking. Rather it is because most of us have lost the ability to fully take pleasure in what we have.

Happiness involves skills for everyday living that few people consistently practice. Instead of taking pride in our accomplishments, we tend to be self-critical. Instead of holding positive visions of the future, we run worst case scenarios, thinking that is the way to be prepared for emergencies. Rather than regularly expressing appreciation to those we love, we find fault with them, hoping to make them "better". Genuine pride in job well done, maintaining hope even during hard times, spontaneously expressing gratitude to someone- these are some of the simple pleasures that can enrich and vitalize our everyday lives, which we do not enjoy often enough.

Reference: Virgogenie_Loh

Reconsidering Your Past Relationship

In a relationship, when words are too hard to say, actions can be a meaningful way to show how you feel about a person. The right actions can build bridges and put out fires when the timing is right.

If you want an ex back, a very powerful way to signal your interest is to keep being nice to your ex. Being nice will open up the communication channels necessary for two people to get back together again.

So here are a few suggestions on how you can be nice to your ex.

Calling an ex to ask how he is doing is one way to be nice. Just make sure to make the call friendly and short so you don't pressure your ex.

Next, if you were helping him out on something, continue helping him, especially if it is important. If you two still find it difficult to be around each other then ask a friend to take over. Of course, the underlying message will not be lost on your ex and that is that you still care about him.

Remember, keep taking care of yourself. When a person is heartbroken the tendency is that they stop caring for their looks. You should not give in to your depression. Instead, be positive and keep looking good. Showing your strength is a way to get your ex to become interested in you again.

You want you ex to realize what a nice and special person you are and that taking another chance with you is well worth it. By being positive you will open your ex up for the thought of reconciliation.

So remember this tip and be nice to your ex because this technique has been tried and tested all over the world. See how kindness can make love bloom yet again.

Reference: Jake_Langston

Domestic Abuse - How To Recognize If It Is Happening To You

There are many women all over the world these days that are going through domestic abuse. This is a serious problem, but many women don't even realize that this is happening to them. That is why you need to know how to recognize if this is what you are going through.
First, you need to know what exactly this type of abuse is. It is when a family member or loved one dominates you using either emotional or physical violence. They are doing their best to take your power away from you by controlling you in every aspect possible.
Now that you know that important information you need to know that there are many ways you can determine if you are being abused. Here are some of the signs for abuse that you want to be on the lookout for.
1. If your partner accuses you of being unfaithful when you know you have been faithful.
2. Does everything they possibly can to keep you from spending any time with your friends or family.
3. Likes to criticize you for any small thing, even without provocation.
4. Whenever they are able to they will do their best to be sure they humiliate you in front of people, no matter where you are.
5. Breaks your possessions on purpose, especially any that mean something special to you.
6. When they use alcohol or drugs, they turn violent and take their anger out on you.
7. Threatens you with violence for any small thing you do, even when they are not drinking or doing drugs.
8. They use violence on you when they are angry, even if you didn't do anything.
9. Takes control over the amount of money you are able to spend or even make.
10. Likes to make you do things against your will.
These are just some of the more common signs that you are going through abuse. If you believe you are being abused, then you can't let it continue because it won't stop until you make it stop.
The best way to get away from your abuser is to get help from outside the home. You can see help from friends and family, but the best thing to do is to go to the proper authorities for help.
Domestic abuse is not something anyone wants to believe they are dealing with, but too many people do. Don't ever assume that it will just end or get better over time because it won't. You have to do the smart thing and get away from your abuser and seek as much help as you can get. Otherwise, you will find that your life is literally in danger; so do something about it now because you are the only one that can decide you have had enough.

Reference: Jeff_Schuman 

Healthy Self-Esteem

It All Starts With Your Beliefs

Most people have heard the statement, "If you can dream it, you can do it," but few people actually take it to heart. For some reason big goals seem unattainable and an "I can't" mentality takes over.

While everyone experiences negative thoughts from time to time, you may need to make an extra effort to get through these challenges. Positive thoughts must be victorious in the end!

Tips For Developing Self-Esteem

Developing a healthy self-esteem doesn't need to be a difficult task. There are small changes you can make to get yourself on the right track.

Try following these strategies to help you develop a healthy self-esteem:

1. Ignore negativity from others. For some reason, many people get into the habit of putting others down. You know you shouldn't listen to these people, but sometimes you take what they're saying to heart. It's especially hurtful when it's coming from someone you love.? * Some people will even steer you in the wrong direction because they think they're doing the right thing. When it comes down to it, you're the only one that knows yourself and your dreams. You simply can't let anyone stand in the way!

2. Learn to accept compliments. You might toss off compliments as lies because some people may have ulterior motives. While this might be true, in most cases people are being genuine. After all, most people won't go out of their way to give you a false compliment.

* Accepting compliments will help you discover what you're good at and strengthen your self-confidence.

3. Get a life coach. Life coaches are in the business of helping you live your life to its fullest potential. You don't need to be scared or embarrassed to seek one out. If a life coach doesn't seem feasible for you! , you ca n look into getting some self-help guides.

* Go online or to a local bookstore to find some relevant workbooks and resources.

4. Use affirmations. Affirmations are great self-esteem boosters because they show your brain what you already know you can achieve. They bring positive energy into the present moment.

* You can read affirmations on the subjects of your choice or you can get into the habit of writing your own affirmations. Nothing can be more targeted to your true feelings than your own words!

5. Avoid comparing yourself to others. It's easy to get into the habit of comparing yourself negatively to other people. Remind yourself that everyone is unique. You're equipped with your own set of strengths and weaknesses, so the best thing you can do for yourself is concentrate on developing your own strengths.

Follow Your Dreams

Once you've worked on your initial feelings about self worth, it's time to take a step in the right direction. A part of a healthy self-esteem is having the drive to take action toward your goals.

Have a plan and follow through. If you feel that you've improved your self-esteem but then fail to take action towards your dream, it will only be a matter of time before your self-esteem begins to wane again.

When you're faced with challenges, actively seek solutions. When you do, you'll soon notice what a positive role your healthy self-esteem plays in your life!

Healthy Relationships - Dealing With the Fear of Commitment

Healthy relationships of any kind will always require a commitment from both parties. So what if you're in a relationship where you feel that your partner has a fear of commitment which is causing them to be emotionally absent or aloof? This can be frustrating and the need to get someone "off the fence" can literally keep you awake at night. Is there anything that you can do to put an end to this torment?
There is...and it starts with understanding what the fear of commitment really is and what you can do to stop feeling like you're in a one sided relationship.

The Root of Fear of Commitment
Fear of commitment is actually not the best term to describe a person's unwillingness to commit to a relationship. Most of the time, what's really going on is that the person has the sense that they'll be "missing out on something better" if they commit. Think about it, how willing would you be to commit to something if you suspected that you might miss out on a better option as a result?
Now for a man, this is most often by the feeling that he hasn't had enough dating experience to really find out what his options are. This creates two problems: number one, many men who never learned to approach women and who therefore had limited options still have the fantasy of the "perfect princess" to overcome. This fantasy exists because the man hasn't had enough dating experience to have this illusion of the "perfect princess" shattered.
However, in other cases, the man truly hasn't had the experience to discover for himself what he really wants, and so he's always feeling that there's more out there to discover. This is not the same thing as wanting to "sow his oats," although many men confuse it with that. This is a man appearing to be afraid of commitment when the initial problems was the fear or approaching women, which led to a shortage of options.
It's VERY hard to determine what you want when you feel that you haven't gotten a good idea of what's out there. Ever feel like your partner is unsure of what they really want? Most likely, it's because they haven't had enough experience to explore their options. But what can you do about this?

Dealing With the Uncommitted Partner
If your partner will not commit to you, the first thing to do is be honest about your expectations. Don't push them, just get it out there and leave the response up to them, that part isn't your responsibility anyway. Next, put a higher value on yourself and ask yourself if this is really what you want. Even if such a person commits, that sneaky suspicion that they're "missing out" will probably come back, and that's where the cheating starts. Attempting to "make someone commit" will almost always backfire. Instead, recommit yourself to what's important to you and to your own life, your own hobbies and things which you can control.
If after this, your partner  still doesn't realize the value of having you in their life, it's probably time to find someone who will.

Dealing With Your Feelings

You now know that negative thought patterns can arise from stress, anxiety, fear or even the past. Crippling fear, unfortunately, hurls many strongly negative feelings your way. But it's how you deal with them and proceed with your thought patterns that make all the difference. Strive to take time to cool down and relax your mind before making important decisions.

One way to know if something is your true feeling is to wait a few days before making a decision. For example, if after a week of thinking something over, you still think the same way, then it's probably true. Of course, you first have to ensure that your mind isn't under attack from stress, anxiety, negativity, or fear.

Healing From Fear

If you find that you're frequently in fearful situations, you can concentrate on healing those feelings. When your mind begins to race, take in a large dose of oxygen. Believe it or not, deep breathing is a signal for your mind to relax and think clearly. So breathe deeply and breathe often!

Also remember that you're not alone. You have people who can help you and you shouldn't feel shy to ask for that help. If you feel uncomfortable talking with a family member or friend, consider the help of a coach or counselor.

Just remember to avoid taking drastic actions that arise from fear. Take your time when making decisions, breathe deeply, and seek the help you need to overcome the grips of fear.

Dealing With Fear

No one enjoys dealing with fear; however, it's a necessary part of a fulfilled life. The best line of defense is to practice remaining calm and ask for help when you need it. After all, two minds striving for a rational solution is usually better than one.

When Not To Trust Your Thoughts

Even in difficult circumstances, you probably have an idea about what is truly right or wrong. However, it's a good idea to try to recognize the situations where you tend to have trouble thinking clearly. That way, when these situations do come up, you can start working on solutions, instead of giving into the cloudy thoughts.

You probably shouldn't trust your thoughts in the following situations:

1. When you're under stress - People often don't recognize how detrimental stress can be to the mind and body. Stress can cause you to make unwise decisions and think too quickly. Stress can take over your body and produce hormones that alter your thinking patterns.

2. When you're feeling anxious - There are varying degrees of anxiety that can affect anyone at any time. When it takes over in a strong manner, such as when you're dealing with crippling fear, it can lead to erratic, irrational thoughts or even panic.

3. When you're having negative thoughts - Sometimes you'll have a bad day or even a bad week. Having a tough time can cause a negative thinking pattern that can cause you to think unreasonable or even absurd thoughts. You may start to have angry or depressing thoughts that can't be trusted.

When you're having thoughts that seem real, but are rather unreasonable, remember that it's not coming from you. Rather, it's coming from the build up and repression of years of self-doubt! , negati vity, stress, anxiety, or even past circumstances. That's precisely why you cannot trust those thoughts!

How to Build Trust Back in a Relationship - Make Love Last

 It's easy to blame your partner and put unhealthy demands on them. You may even think they are cheating when they are not. This article will explore how to build trust back in a relationship and techniques to ensure that you make love last.

Often times when the negative feelings arise, some people actually begin to place unrealistic demands and restrictions upon their partner. This can have a very negative effect on the relationship and can actually begin its end. In every relationship, both parties need time by themselves, with friends and obviously together.
One of the worst things you can do is to remove a person's sense of individuality and freedom to grow as a person. This will only make your partner feel trapped. This will destroy your partners trust and confidence in themselves and they may even grow to think that there is no other way to make you feel happy in the relationship.

The most effective way to build trust back in a relationship is to take a moment and begin to understand some of the common traits of healthy relationships and what it really means to make love last.
To love someone does not mean to own or possess them. This is not loving and is very disrespectful to them. Instead we are simply objectifying them and using then to meet our needs. We do not love that person when we use them in such a fashion.
Trust must be developed in ourselves and our partners from within. If for whatever reason your partner does not deserve trust, then restricting their behavior will not help at all. It will worsen the matter considerably. The person will enter a state of rebellion and will subconsciously and consciously find ways to sabotage the relationship in order to regain a sense of the lost freedom.
Many people come of past relationship where they were cheated on or hurt in some manner and have not come to terms with what happened. As a consequence, they project these feelings have hurt and insecurity upon their current partner. A new relationship will never heal old wounds. Each person must take the responsibility to work through these feelings and realize that their current partner is different as well as the situation and relationship.

There are many techniques you can use to build up or self esteem.   Ones emotionally state must be cultivated each and every day much in the same manner that you exercise physically each day. You need to work each day to become stronger emotionally and build strength in order to fight through the feelings of fear and negativity. One technique I use constantly is to meditate each day on the positive aspects of your partner as well as myself. When you feel the negative feelings creep in, take a step back, take a deep breath and focus again on the good that is in the both of you. This is how you can begin to restore balance, calm and ultimately start to build trust back in the relationship.

The idea with this exercise is not to ignore reality, but instead to focus and be aware of what is really going on.   If you are in the unfortunate situation where your partner does not deserve of your trust or as betrayed you in some way, by you remaining calm and positive you will be able to make healthier and more constructive choices for yourself.

Reference: Brian_Marshon

How to Trust People Again

First you have to decide whether you want to trust the person again - is it worth it? You have to look at the relationship you have with the person who you have lost trust in. Are they important enough for you to try to trust them again and open yourself up for additional pain? The following are steps you can use to determine if you want to trust the person again and they offer ways for you to be able to trust people again.

The first step is to write down the reasons you do not trust the person. Weight the importance of the items on the list with a scale from one to three based on how severe they are. If you have even one item that is in the most severe category you may not be able to regain the trust.

Look over your list and if it is composed of only a few minor to medium offenses they you should be able to work on regaining your trust of the person. But, if the list is long with several items that are very severe you will need to evaluate whether you want to attempt to regain trust of the person.

When you look at your list see how long ago the issue occurred. If an event happen a very long time ago you should more than likely forgive and move on.

Now you should make a list of why you want to return the friendship back to the way it was. You don't have to write this list down if you don't want to just remember a few reasons that you want to keep the this person in your life.

You should understand that even when you begin to trust this person and decide to continue your friendship or relationship again it would never be exactly like it was before. It could improve as moving on from the betrayal might make your bond stronger but it could become worse as well.

Talk with the person whose trust you have lost and be honest about what they need to do for you to be able to move forward. Perhaps all you need is an apology or you may need some other proof that the person can be trusted and give the trust back when you feel that they have earned it. Communication is a key in being able to trust people again.

Time is required for you to be able to heal and you should allow yourself all the time you require. You will hurt but with time you will be able to move on.

Reference: Celeste_Jamils 

7 Secrets to Building Trust in Your Relationship

The first step to building trust is to be predictable. This goes against the common belief that you need to "stir things up" to keep things new and keep the romance alive. Sure, having lunch at a new cafe or giving an unexpected gift can be nice, but most of all, we need things to be consistent and steady in order to make your relationship flourish. You and your significant other have had a falling out and you thought you wanted to break up. But now after some time has passed you realize that the break up was a mistake and you want your love back. Can this relationship be saved? The good news is that 'yes' many times the relationship can be saved. The bad news is it may take some serious effort and changes on your part.

The first thing to do after a break up is to take a little time to really take stock of the relationship. It is easy in the heat or depression of a break up to only focus on the good things that are gone. But in addition to the good points about the relationship you need to focus on what was wrong with the relationship. After all you did break up right? So there has to be some reasons behind the break up. If there were problems those will need to be addressed if the relationship is going to succeed in the future.
So after you have taken some time to review your relationship it is time to make a decision as to whether it is really worth saving. If after reviewing the relationship you are coming up with a much longer list of negatives than positives then maybe it is time to move on. Sometimes really good people just aren't good together. So you need to be honest with yourself as to whether you and your ex really bring out the best in each other or not.

OK so you have thought about it and decided that the relationship is worth saving , now what? One plan of attack could be to just be upfront with your ex. Invite him or her to sit down and have an honest talk about the chances for a reconciliation. Tell your ex exactly what you want and what changes your willing to make to get there. Another approach is to be a little more coy about it. Take care of yourself. Go out with friends and stay busy. Let your ex see how well you are doing. This often will make an ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend reconsider a break up. After all we all want what we can't have right? So play a little hard to get. Who knows while you are out there having fun and living life you might just decide you don't want your ex back after all because there are so many other fish in the sea. Your relationships work. Consider that trust in a relationship is built on being reliable and predictable day in and day out.

Next, you need to make sure that your words always match your actions. This means that your partner really needs to hear the words which match your body language and the things that you do. If you say you are joyful but you are frowning, your partner doesn't hear your words, he or she sees your face and the tonality in your voice. Your partner needs to be able to trust what you are saying. When the words match the message, you build trust in a relationship.
Third, you need to believe in your partner. Trust breeds trust. If you are constantly suspicious of your partner he or she might think you are projecting you own cheating behaviors or other bad behaviors onto them. If you can't believe in and trust your partner then there are probably more fundamental problems in your relationship that you need to examine.

Ok this one should be common sense but, don't keep secrets. Secrets are the fastest way to destroy the trust in a relationship. Be honest and open with your significant other. Things we try to hide have a way of in time coming out anyway so it is better to just be up front from the start. Secrets require tremendous energy on your part. Better to use that energy to improve your relationship and make it stronger.
The fifth step is don't be afraid to let your better half know what your needs are. He or she is not a psychic so, don' t make him or her speculate on what you need. It is not selfish or egotistical to let your significant other know what you need. It is the key to creating a stronger relationship.
The sixth step is going to be hard for some of you but you need to learn to say no. When your partner expresses his or her needs, that is a good thing, but you don't need to say yes every time he or she makes a request. It is better to be genuine and up front when there is something you don't want to do rather than implying that you might do it but then not. Remember we are building trust here so your word has to be golden.

The final step is to never stop nurturing your relationship so it will proceed to grow. When you plant a flower, you fertilize it to help it grow better. The identical is true with the relationship. Open communicating and trying new things together are the fertilizer of a relationship.

So there you have it. 7 steps to help fortify the trust in your relationship and keep it going strong. The endeavor can really be worth it!

Reference: Clair_Bennett 

Building Trust in Relationships

What if you have cheated on Your Partner? Can you get Him /her back?
In most cases people will tell you that an affair with someone else means the end of the relationship and break ups but this is not always the case. Partners in a relationship can have affairs for different reasons. The affair or lustful sexual encounter can have been in a moment of drunken madness, because of strong attraction to someone at work, or because of pressures at work. Does not matter though, you have betrayed your partners trust and the damage is done. It could have been something lacking in the relationship which caused your partner to cheat. This is something that should be thought about as well. If both partners love each other you can still save the relationship but it is going to be very hard work for the cheating partner. It can take months, and even years building trust in relationships and in one fell swoop an affair can destroy it!
Building trust in relationships requires an adjustment in attitude and actions for both partners in the relationship and after an affair it is going to be hard work rebuilding trust again. Even after one of the partners have had an affair, it is still possible to save a relationship, and if you truly love each other rather try to than throw many happy years together down the drain.

Build trust in relationships through open communication.
Communication is the most important building block to any relationship, not love, not sex like you may think. Sure these are all important building blocks of any relationship but communication tops the list. Can you openly communicate with the person you love if something is troubling you? Are you suspicious and digging behind your partners back into their personal effects because you think they may be having an affair. If you can openly discuss what is troubling you, then you have great trust and communication with your partner. Building trust in relationships comes from having honest open communication at all times. Talk to your partner about anything and everything and they in turn must also never be afraid to approach you. That is real trust in relationships.
Sort out your differences and problems and build trust
If there are characteristics or things that bother you about your partner you should be able to discuss them. By leaving them bottled up inside, they begin to fester and one day in a moment of anger things may be said and your relationship could even end up in tatters. Building trust in relationships means fixing the underlying problems through openly communicating with each other about them. Sometimes that means going in to couples counseling if you cannot find solutions yourselves. The real secret to building trust in relationships lies not in talking about the right things, but in taking action in doing the right things, and sorting out problems and overcoming obstacles.

The little things you can be trusted with
One of the biggest things you can do in building trust in relationships is to make small promises and keep them. If you promise to take the garbage each evening, then make sure to do it and do it consistently as well. When you demonstrate that you can be trusted by always doing the little things, your partner will start realizing that you can be trusted with the bigger things in your relationship as well. Do things together and learn to trust each other through keeping the lines of communication open. When your relationship is experiencing problems and you need help to restore your faith and trust seek guidance and counseling. There are excellent guides available on the market that can help you build save and nurture relationships which in today's modern society are very precious.

Reference: Richie_C

10 Crucial and Surprising Steps to Build Trust in a Relationship

1. Be predictable. When do seeds of suspicion emerge? When one begins to think, What's up? Why is he doing that? He's never done that before. That is so unlike him. He loses 30 pounds, buys a new wardrobe and comes home late from work. He changes his patterns. His behavior becomes unpredictable. You get the picture? Any movement away from predictable behavior can become suspect and trust can deteriorate. Focus on acting predictably if you need to build trust. Be consistent in what you do. This doesn't mean you must be boring. If there is a twinkle in your eye and a dose of spontaneity every so often, for goodness sakes be spontaneous and fun loving. But, be spontaneous consistently! Be true to who you have always been and be that consistently, whoever you tend to be!

2. Inform your significant other when you become "unpredictable." No one goes through life the same person. We all make shifts and changes. Frankly sometimes we may be fairly clueless about what is happening and where we are going. Those times may be very intense and we do some silly things or make some downright dumb decisions. Life can get very squirrelly and unpredictable. (I have a favorite phrase: Gold is refined through intense heat.) Growth in an individual, marriage or family often is accompanied by a little chaos. Welcome these shifts, for there is a part of you searching for something better/different/richer/deeper, but for heaven's sake, inform your partner of what you are experiencing. Say, "I really don't know what is going on in me right now, but I'm moving in a different direction. Be a little patient with me while I figure this out. I might do some silly things, but my intent is not to harm you or scare you. Accept some of my wondering and wandering and please be there for me? I may need to run some of this by you every so often!"

3. Make sure your words match the message. Mean what you say and say what you mean. When your partner hears one thing in your words but your tone of voice, body language and facial expressions are really saying something else, you open the relationship to some crazy making days. Which message is she to believe? This can waste a tremendous amount of energy and she learns not to trust part of what you are saying. Here's a very simple but common example. You are getting ready to go to a formal dinner. Your wife comes to you and says, "How do I look?" (And she's wearing a dress you don't particularly like and her hair is pulled back in a way that turns you off.) Not to spoil the evening you enthusiastically say, "You look great." You don't really mean it and a part of her knows you really don't mean it. But, you leave it at that. This might not seem like a big deal - we all have done something similar - but if trust is shaky to begin with, it is even shakier now. Here's how to match the words with the nonverbal: "I think you are a beautiful person. I want you to know that. I love you dearly and it will be wonderful to have you by my side tonight. Others will see your beauty. (As you say this, you look into her eyes as you put your hands around her waist.) She's not concerned so much with how she looks but is expressing a need for affirmation. She's not talking about her dress or hair, but about wanting to know the evening is going to go just fine. You respond to the real message. You can take this one step further, if you like. At some point you might bring up her need for affirmation and talk about that. Ask her is there is anything you can say or do so that need is met. Trust is awareness of the intent beneath the obvious message and responding to that!

4. Believe the other person is competent. I hear this phrase very often: "But, I don't want to hurt him." A couple things are at play here. First, she may not have the skill of confronting the other with the truth in a way that brings reconciliation and understanding. She believes truth telling is destructive or entails some sort of drama. Neither is true. The truth is never destructive and can be conveyed in loving ways. (With that said, what we believe to be the truth may indeed be a distorted perception that fits our personal needs.) Or, she may see the other person as a wimp; someone she believes cannot handle rigorous personal confrontation. She doesn't trust that the other person has the internal strength or stamina or skills to be in a relationship of mutual respect and equality. The other person picks up on this mistrust and does what he does (feigns inadequacy and incompetence) to avoid the personal confrontation as well. A dance is acted out. Believe and know in your heart that the other person, somewhere and somehow, beneath the games, has the internal strength and capacity to handle anything. Such trust builds trust in the other person and begins to pervade the relationship. "Hey, she thinks I can handle this! Hmmmm, this is mighty good! I CAN engage her and be truly intimate!"

5. Be very very careful of keeping secrets. If he knows there is an elephant in the room and doesn't talk about it, the elephant takes up tremendous space in the relationship. It takes energy for him to walk around it. She may not see the elephant but knows he is bending his neck to look around something. She will be curious, mildly disturbed, have feelings but no words to wrap around them, might wonder if something is wrong with her or struggle with trusting her intuition (her intuition KNOWS an elephant is there.) And, when we can't trust the messages that come from within us, we find it very difficult to trust the messages of the other person. Secrets demand tremendous energy and erode trust. The relationship is doomed never to experience wall-banging intimacy. This is why extramarital affairs are so damaging. She is not so much concerned about him having sex with someone else as she is about the betrayal, lack of trust, the secrets and deception that are crazy making and energy draining. Now, please. I'm not saying that you sit your partner down and divulge the 23 secrets of your illicit past behaviors. If you have resolved those, i.e. forgiven yourself, understand those behaviors, learned from them and were able to use them to make the internal shifts necessary for your personal development, they do not qualify as an elephant. Hopefully, in the course of growing intimacy in your relationship you may want to share some of those events as you disclose to your partner where you were and where you are now. You do so without emotional charge. However, if a secret takes up room, i.e. still has an emotional charge and holds you back from disclosing more and more of yourself in the growing stages of intimacy, you have a problem that needs to be addressed with your partner.

6. Let YOUR needs be known - loudly. Be a little - no, be a lot - self-centered. (Be self-centered, but not selfish!) Here's a problem I run into almost every day. He is backing away (perhaps attached to work, another person, etc.). She feels the trust and intimacy eroding, is scared and wants to "win him back." So she begins an all out effort to "work on the marriage." She invites him to do so as well. He may reluctantly agree. She blasts full throttle ahead trying to "be nice" and meet every need he ever said he had. She's going to "fill his tank with goodies." Doesn't work. Her eyes are riveted on him. He feels "smothered" or maybe even resentful: "Why is she doing this NOW!" She's hopeful, but eventually that turns to resentment. Her underlying motive - if I meet his needs, he will feel good and meet mine - just doesn't work. It's perceived as manipulation, which it is. Of course, he doesn't say anything. After all, how do you get angry with someone who is so "nice and caring?" Trust disintegrates under a blanket of quiet niceties. Start with your eyes focused on YOU. What do YOU need? Explore your personal need system. Dig beneath the surface. And then say to him: "I need...x, y and z. I would like to talk to you about them. I would like us to work out a way so my needs are met. Are you open to that?" He is empowered to say yes or no. Or, he may say, "What about my needs?" You respond, "I am very interested in hearing what is important to you, certainly." Have you ever been around someone who stated clearly what they needed/wanted? Didn't you respect that person? Because you knew where he stood, and therefore where you stood, didn't that interaction move toward a trusting relationship?

7. State who YOU are - loudly. It is very sad to see those in relationships of emotional investment hold back from letting the other person know who they really are. You build trust in a relationship by entrusting your SELF to the other person. This sounds easy but I find it difficult for most to pull off. Most of us have a difficult time declaring our SELF. For one thing, if you're like most of us, you haven't given much thought to what it is that makes YOU truly YOU. Don't you feel like you glide through life on autopilot, focusing on tasks, goals, accomplishments, problems and the external realities? Don't you tend to focus on those things out there or that person out there? You're concerned about what he is thinking, how he is responding to you, whether he likes you, whether he will be an obstacle and where he will fit in your life? Your conversations may be pleasant but fairly superficial and bluntly, boringly inane. You converse about things/relationships/events out there. You are reluctant to share your thoughts, values, and impressions or take a stand. This doesn't destroy trust. But it doesn't create it either. And, if you do take a stand it may serve the purpose of protecting you or entrenching you as you react against someone. This more often than not creates trust barriers. Take some time to reflect on your standards. What are your standards for a relationship? What standards do you hold for yourself? What do you order your life around? What are the 4 top values in your life? What are some themes that you live by? What are you known for? And then...begin letting significant people in your life know. They will respect you. They will know you more deeply. They will thank you for the opportunity to know you. They will see you as a person of character. They will trust you. They can count on you. They know exactly what is behind and within you.

8. Learn to say NO! Sometimes you need to say NO! Often it is crucial to say NO! Saying NO sets boundaries around you that protects you from being hurt or venturing into territory that will be destructive to your heart and soul. You draw a line. You stop tolerating that which drains energy and makes you less than YOU. You refuse to allow the destructive behaviors of others to destroy you. You build a moat around the core of your life. You do this by informing the other person of what they are doing. You request they stop. If they don't stop, you demand they stop. If they don't stop you walk away without a snide remark, eye-roll or comment. To some this seems harsh, but saying NO is RESPECTED. Fear is the basis of mistrust. If you fear that someone will hurt you and believe you have no recourse but to endure that hurt, fear will prevail. How can you trust when you are in fear? Saying NO, protecting yourself, sends a message to the other person that you will not live in fear. This usually triggers a response of respect from the other person. After all, if you can protect yourself and refuse subjugation to that which is destructive, will not the other person come to trust you and see you as a person who just might protect him/her from harm as well?
9. Charge Neutral. When your significant other expresses something powerfully, charge neutral. Most of us are afraid of strong feelings or points of contention in a relationship. I commonly hear people respond by defending themselves (to a perceived attack), explaining themselves, counter-attacking, shutting down, or walking away. Of course, the relationship remains stuck in this quagmire of mistrust and fear. Rather than reacting and having your feelings flowing all over the place or shutting down, practice charging neutral. Communicate calmness, not only in your tone of voice but also in how you carry your body. Don't speak with a charge to your voice. Control your voice! Say what you must say, state the truth and do it directly and calmly. You can do this, once you master your fears. It will dramatically change the flow of the relationship. You will be able to point out something big, without making a big deal out of it. You will be in control of you. This not only feels great, but your partner trusts that you won't fly or fall apart. You will experience your personal power. This makes you very attractive. Don't people really trust someone who knows their personal power and how to use it for the welfare of themselves and others? Your partner will love the fact that she can trust you consistently to operate from your "quiet center," remain engaged, not back down and speak the truth with conviction and calmness.

10. Dig into the dirt. Relationships of emotional investment, by their nature, bring trials, tribulations, fears, chaos, turmoil, change, stretching and growth. They become the grist from which your life is shaped and formed. Be fearless when faced with turmoil, upset, crisis, questions, and fears. When the time is right, seek them out. Move toward the frightening unknown. Dig into the dirt of your relationship and uncover the treasures. Do you really TRUST that this can happen? The purpose of your relationship is not to make you happy. Do you realize this? Happiness may be an outcome, but your other is given to you to move you to where you really want to be. Obstacles, trials and moments of pain are given as lessons on which you intentionally write the script of your life individually and together. Embrace the difficult. Trust that in this embracing you will find more of your true self. Trust that you are given the resources and capacity to face what you and your significant other are to face. Once you are able to believe and trust these ultimate purposes, trusting your significant other will be that much more easy.


Reference: Dr._Robert_Huizenga 

How to Keep a Long Distance Relationship Going

One of the toughest relationships to be in is a long distance relationship. In a sense, it is kind of painful because the two lovers cannot be there for each other physically when one needs the other. However, it is also fulfilling when the partners finally get to spend some time with each other. It isn't as frequent as the time spent together by those involved in non-long distance relationships, but as they say, "absence make the heart grow fonder." Every moment spent together is special for those involved in a long distance relationship, and that somehow makes up for the difficulty of the arrangement.
Indeed, it is difficult to be involved in a long distance relationship. You seem under a cloud of uncertainty, since you don't know what the other is doing and what things he is facing. There are also a lot of temptations closer to home when you are in a long distance relationship. If you are involved in one, how can you keep the flame going in a long distance relationship? Here are some things that you might want to keep in mind for they might be useful for you, even if you are not involved in such a relationship at the moment.



Keep the Faith
First and foremost, keep the faith in each other. You need to have trust in order for the relationship to be strong, because without trust, you two can easily get into a situation where the relationship is threatened and, often times, break under the pressure.

Keep in Touch
Communication is an essential component of a long distance relationship. Without communication, you wouldn't be able to talk to each other and know what each other is thinking at the moment and what problems he may be facing. That way, even if you are not physically there for him, at least you can be more understanding of his situation if something comes up. That comes close to comforting him physically, though we can all agree that the real thing is better.
Value Each Other
The third, but definitely not the least, you should learn to value each other. Distance is a very difficult barrier to overcome, and if you don't value each other, your relationship is bound to fail even at the start of your affair. If you don't value each other, you are bound to abuse the trust of the other and engage in some undesirable behavior while your partner is away from you. So value each other, value your relationship, and you can keep the relationship strong despite the difficulties that are bound to come your way as part of your long distance relationship.

Reference: Kay_Bjorn  

6 Tips + 3 Added Values to Help Your Relationship

1. Develop a Positive Attitude


Avoid negative thoughts in running your whole relationship. Be less judgmental and be more accepting towards other especially with your partner. Always possess a positive aura that will surely enlighten the bond the two of you are having.

2. Improve your Communication Skills
Be open and be honest. Share your thoughts, feelings, views and values to your partner. Give time to listen carefully and an open ear to discern his or her thoughts. Improving your communication skills will help you respond appropriately and as well as aid you in avoiding misunderstanding. An open communication will also aid in establishing trust which makes the relationship more strong and stable.
3. Resolve Problem and Conflicts Early
When a relationship is starting to grow with conflict, allow yourself to resolve it as early as possible. Do not let it affect much part of the bind that you and you're partner is sharing. Together with your partner, assess the cause of such conflict, develop an action plan and make series of intervention that must be done as a unit to solve the conflict effectively.

4. Treat your Partner with all Respect
Be respectful by giving time, providing privacy, listening carefully, and responding to the needs of your partner appropriately. Treat and value your partner as well as their space. No matter how harsh and hard the situations are, try to be calm, compost, and patient. Be open about your feelings and accept the emotions and feelings of your partner.

5. Understand and Accept Personal Differences
Understand the differences that you and you're partner are having. Remember, we are all created uniquely by the Creator. These differences may sometimes cause conflicts and may result to problems that are sometimes hard to intervene. Thus, to maintain a harmonious relationship, adjust and accept the differences that the two of you are having. Compromise if needed.

6. Establish and Grow Trust
Trust is the true foundation of all relationship. This is rooted in the very soul of your bond. Once trust is being established a harmonious relationship will ponder. Trust aside from love is the core of a relationship. It glues the similarities and differences between you and you're partner. With all the trust that the two of you will be giving, it will result to a one loyal and fruitful unit.
The keys in how to make a relationship work are respect, trust and good communication. The two of you must be helping each other to maintain these three values revolve on your relationships. These values will surely aid you maintain and strengthen the bond that you and your partner established. Always keep the faith and never stop loving each other.

If you find the tips on "How to Make a Relationship Work" is useful, you might want to find out more about

Reference: Johnny_Wayne

How to Tell If a Guy Loves You - Will He Commit Or Are You Just a Temporary Fling?

Have you ever wanted to know how to tell if a guy loves you? Many men find it extremely difficult to express their emotions through words, so they will often fall in love with you long before they actually say the words. Without hearing your man actually say I love you, how do you determine how he feels about you? How do you know if he sees you as just a "temporary fling" or a woman he can ultimately commit to and marry?

The good news is there are signs a guy loves you if you know what to look for. Reading to the end of this article will help you identify those signs.

Signs A Guy Really Loves You - Here's What To Look For

One of the first signs a guy really loves you and is committed to you is how he treats you. Does he give you attention and appreciate the things you do for him in the relationship? If your man showers you with attention and shows his appreciation when you do things like fix his favorite dinner, then you have a man who loves you and doesn't take you for granted.

Next, is your man affectionate? When a man is in love, he is more likely to let down his guard and be affectionate. For example, he may wrap his arms around you or kiss your forehead for no reason at all.

Another signal a man loves you is when he remembers important dates such as birthdays and anniversaries and wants to make them special for you. Days and events important to you will also be important to him.

A fourth signal to tell if a guy loves you is how he handles emotion. For the most part, men shy away from emotions. It makes them uncomfortable to express their own emotions and they don't always know how to handle an emotional woman.

If your man opens up to you and is there to comfort you when you're expressing your own feelings, then it's a BIG sign he loves you. If he didn't love you, he would try to avoid these types of situations.

Lastly, does your man support your goals and dreams or talk about the future? Does he take an interest in the things that are important to you? This could be your job, a hobby, or your friends and family. When a man cares about things outside his interests but which are important to you and talks about the future, then he's in love with someone who isn't just a temporary fling. That someone is YOU.

Next, now is the time to make men crave you: Make Him Crave You

If you really want to create an intense desire in your man that will make you utterly irresistible to him, then understand men in a way few women will ever know that will help you fulfill his every desire, become the sole focus of his affection, and make him fall head over heels in love with you by visiting http://www.MakeHimLoveMe.org.

Reference: Derek_Blandford

How to Know If a Woman Loves You - Signs That She Loves You

How to know if a woman loves you? Love can be a game of hide and seek. If everything is as simple as feeling something and saying those feelings out loud, then the world will be better off. This kind of honesty is however cannot be done in reality as people live in fear, insecurity and oh let us not forget pride. We cannot tell or show how we feel because we fear rejection. We will only show our feelings when we are really sure that our feelings will be reciprocated. When we are not sure, we will choose to just keep it a secret than run the risk of getting hurt.

Although stereotyped as people who let pride rule their emotions, men are not the only ones who are ruled by pride. Women are also much the same thing; more so in cultures that are more conservative where women are raised not to make the first move. But although liberal cultures like in the America allow women to take the initiative, there are still some who just cannot take the risk and say how they feel. Some will just try to show you in subtle ways, hoping that when you take notice, you will make your own move. It is always hard to tell if a woman loves you.

Sometimes, even when already in a relationship, if a woman loves you she will still not express what she feels, choosing to cloak her feelings in shadows of empty sweetness. And mind you, men also experience their own insecurities. They will also question a woman's feelings even when already in a relationship. It is crucial to know if a woman loves you.

Having different modes of thinking and ways of expression, men's interpretations of the signs that women show often result to mixed up signals. So what is the right way to interpret their actions and to know if a woman loves you? How will you really know if your girl really loves you? Here are some signs that you should watch out for when trying to determine if a woman loves you.

How to know if a woman loves you

1. Willingness to sacrifice

If a woman loves you she has the willingness to sacrifice. There are things that people will not do for anyone but the people that they love. Look for things that differentiate how your woman treats you and how she treats other people in her life. Are you one of the priorities? Do you come first before her friends? Does she do things for you that she would not do for other people? These are keys on how special you really are to her? Has she sacrificed some things just to be with you? These are the things that indicate just how special you are to her.

2. Worry-wart

Some women may not say much but they worry for the safety of the people they love. This is one way to know if a woman loves you. When what you do affects them in some way, this means that you matter in their lives. This is one of the most obvious signs of love in a person because you care enough to worry for their safety. You can tell if a woman loves you if she worries for your safety.

3. Jealousy

Although jealousy may not necessarily be a good thing when you think about it, a hint of it is a sign that a person is into you. There is jealousy if a woman loves you. A dose of jealousy is actually healthy to a relationship as it validates feelings and reassures the partner that the other is afraid of losing you to someone else. Of course too much of it can also be detrimental. Learn to balance and solve jealousy issues immediately.

If in case the woman you love is not yet into you, don't lose hope there are things that you can do to attract someone you love. Do you want to discover the powerful, step-by-step secrets of how to meet, attract, and create a lasting and fulfilling relationship with the kind of person you've always wanted? Even if you're shy or don't think you are good looking. Imagine how good you'll feel about yourself when you have the confidence and knowledge to attract the woman of your dreams and keep her forever. Visit Be Irresistible To Women

To know more about love, dating and wedding visit All About Relationships

Reference: Gerry_Restrivera

The Law of Attraction

One of the most well documented theories of New Age thought is the Law of Attraction. Simply put, it suggests that you will always encounter, in your life, those things which you think about on a regular basis. click here for free download

What to Do When She Says Let's Be Friends

At first you are destroyed, then distraught, and finally depressed. You don't know what you did wrong, or what you could have done right to prevent this occurrence. Your ersatz girlfriend looks into your eyes, smiling, and says, "we will still see each other, we will be good friends."

What did she mean and what was her motivation when she says let's just be friends?

What does she expect out of the friendship? What did he expect out of the relationship?

Does she really need a male friend?

And finally, what do you get out of this deal?

To begin this discussion, let's first look at some definitions of friendship. The following definition, adapted from Wikipedia is a definition a friendship. Wikipedia defines friendship, as the cooperation and support of a relationship between two or more people. This definition therefore has the qualities of mutual affection, knowledge of each other circumstances, and mutual esteem between both partners.

This definition also implies, that both parties in this relationship will help each other in times of crisis and need. They will have a sense of empathy and sympathy for each other as well as a mutual understanding of the others personal history.

In general, do you think that the woman needs this type of relationship with a man?

We all know that women are much more social creatures than men are. Most women have little problem forming deep social relationships with others. This is primarily done in the setting of women on women relationships. They shop together, go out to lunch together, and tell each other their innermost thoughts.

Men, on the other hand, usually do not have such relationships. Most men are concerned mostly with workplace and career matters and usually discuss these topics when together. It is somewhat unusual for them to go shopping together, eat lunch together, and share their innermost thoughts with another male.

The reasons for this are multiple. Needless to say, throughout the history of time, men have been going off to war, off to sea, and often off to die. This has enabled women, throughout history, to be able to form deep lasting relationships with each other.

The point being from this section, therefore, is that, in general, a woman does not need a man for a friend. Most attractive and desirable women already have plenty of friends, and do not need your friendship.

What, therefore, is this woman looking for in the story we told? What is she seeking when she says "let's just be friends?" In short, the woman is looking for the promise or prospect of favors from the man. The man may feel that if he is truly a friend and gives all he can, she will eventually love him and move the relationship forward with return towards intimacy. She, on the other hand, feels no such responsibility to move the relationship forward or have a return towards intimacy. She is not emotionally available. If the man presses, she will simply tell him, "I told you that we were just friends." She has required unconditional love on his part but only gives conditional attention on her part. She is promising nothing.

So what does the man get out of this type of relationship? Normally, the man gets nothing and is chasing after a dream that will never come true. If a man were ever able to do this to a woman, we would say that the man did not have the courage or character to tell the woman that the relationship was not working out. On the women's side however, it is considered normal and appropriate behavior.

So when a woman says to you, "dear John, let's just be friends," you should say have a good life.


Reference: William_Marzullo,_M.D.

Why Do Women Lie

Women talk, with horror, how much they were lied to in previous relationships, but they lie as much as men, maybe for different reasons. It is said that men do this more often and they do it frequently.

Anyway, let's see why women hide the truth:

1. She does not want to hurt her lover

Although she does not like something about her boyfriend, she will not say this. Although she does not want to hurt his feelings, later frustrations appear. Things will go from bad to worse and this can lead to a break-up.

2. She wants to be appreciated

There are little lies that show she is intelligent, desirable and successful. Although she does not harm anybody, you must think about it, something is wrong about her personality.

3. She tries to hide the past

If she lies about her past, she is ashamed of something or she wants to forget about everything and start fresh again. She does not want to be rejected by her present lover.

4. She protects herself

If she tries to keep distance between you and her this is probably because she does not want to be vulnerable. She feels that she has to hide her feelings and emotions for fear she might be hurt. This type of behavior is very common but it is difficult to have a sincere relationship with such a person.

5. She does not trust you

Maybe she has important secrets and does not want you or anybody else to know about them. Maybe she feels you are not trustworthy enough, so you have to prove the contrary.

For more information, simply visit

Reference:Marius_Gherghinescu

Men lie

1. Freshly dated, he says:" You are the loveliest girl I've ever

seen... you are just so beautiful... I love you."

Well, lady, accept the compliment but do not get carried away.

Remember, the same sentence may have been said hundreds of times to his

handful of girlfriends (even worst, his wife!) Be extreme alert if this

is heard on the first date!

2. After a few drinks, he says: " Shall we go somewhere else to chat?"

Then, he will take you to somewhere you would not come out that night.

The next morning is something you will never remember. Have we? Or

haven't we? Everything is a mess plus a big hang over...

3. Without protection, he says:" you will not get pregnant."

Believe him if you are an idiot. He knows how to use a condom, but he

just doesn't believe that his sperms are actually viable until one day,

one of the millions swims so quickly that it reaches the egg... He will

regret it but someone may enjoy the happily ever afterâ~º

4. Talking about marriage, he says: "please give me some time."

Some time is a vague concept - an hour? day? month? year? If you are

willing to wait, be prepared to bet your whole life. This is most

likely to expose the unspoken words he is trying to tell you "I don't

want things change ever i.e. marriage is a bad idea..."

The only truth men will never tell women:" don't be blinded in the

dating game." Get more........Jay_Liu


Reference: Jay_Liu

Understanding how men think- 4 powerful tips that will tell you what men think

If a guy doesn't call, he doesn't want to see you:

This is a very simple one. I know many girls who think a guy likes them
if he is not calling them and that he is playing mind games with them,
just to get them more hooked. There is only a half truth in that. Yes,
some guys do avoid a girl for a while to build up anticipation and get
the girl to like him, but that is only for a few days and usually at
the beginning of a relationship. But if you have been together for a
while and he is not calling you, then I'm afraid he longer likes you.



If a guy asks you to have a drink with him it means he wants to have
sex with you:

A guy will ask a girl out in a number of different ways. If he is
asking you to meet him for a drink then he probably wants to sleep with
you and that his main intention. If he asks you for dinner then it is
beyond sex and he is interested in a relationship. If he asks you for a
coffee then he is thinking more of friendship, at least in the
beginning. However, plain drink equates to a desire for sex. Did you
ever thinking understanding how men think would be so straight forward?


If a guy keeps on asking you questions, it means he is interested:

Typical scenario. You are having a conversation with a guy. You notice
the guy keeps on asking more questions, that means he is very
interested in you. The more questions he asks, the more he likes you.
If you notice he is not asking you any questions, then he is probably
not interested.


If a guy comes up with quick answers, he is probably lying:

Numerous women are worried that their partners are cheating on them.
This is a constant worry I hear quite a bit and to be fair is true. If
he is cheating on you is hiding something from you, then pay close
attention to how he answers your questions when you confront him. If he
seems like he has a quick answer, it means he prepared answers ahead of
time, which come out as an auto reply. Be careful when that happens, as
it probably means he is lying.

This is only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to understanding how
men think. This is a very wide area and is one you should get right.

Reference: Mark_J_Hamilton

The Number 1 Mistake You Make When Setting a Relationship Goal and How to Fix It

Have you set yourself a goal of being in a sexually fulfilling relationship?

Maybe you've got it. Maybe you haven't yet. Either way. I've just seen this play out again by an expert. I can't believe it. To me it seems so simple. Yet, I've just received another email telling me of another divorce.

So many people set a relationship goal as one of their goals. Normally something like:

To be in a relationship.

To have a relationship.

To get married etc.

Or something alone those lines. This is great and you can easily get it if you want to.

Then everybody seems to hit problem or forget to take their own advice.

What is it?
Once you've set a goal and got it, what should you do?

The big secret is:

Set another relationship goal.

I know it sounds incredible simple, but so few people do.

So you're in a relationship or have gotten married. Now what? Your relationship goals should NOT end now you've achieved your end result. Pick another end result or three.

It seems people get married and think job done. I'll now be happy for the rest of my life. Maybe you'll be one of the lucky ones. The rest of us.

Keep setting relationship goals!

They can be monthly, yearly 3 yearly, 5 yearly or much further off. It doesn't actually matter as long as the goal excites you.

It is estimated that 40% of all marriages since 2008 have ended in divorce. Do you want to join that list?

Maybe your goal is to secretly get back with an old love?

read more

Reference:Andrew_Wilkie

Do You Delete Your Ex on Facebook After a Breakup?

Now the problem lies in the fact that it would make you feel sad to remove your ex completely from Facebook and your life.

If every time you check your his profile you feel hurt, it might be time to let the Facebook ties between you go.

What I mean is, after a breakup your ex may even be using Facebook as a way to hurt you. If you feel any discomfort whatsoever and can't resist the temptation to check his/her profile, remove that person immediately.

If you really find that you can't bring yourself to remove your ex then you may want to deactivate your Facebook entirely.
Once you've removed your ex or deactivated your profile be sure you try and refrain from gaining access.

I believe it is best to cut all contact with someone when you are trying to get over them. Removing the temptation, while initially difficult, might just be the only way you'll be able to move on. Remove the temptation and make your life easier.
I know you don't want to lose that person forever but for the time being you have to do whats right for yourself. A breakup is an emotionally challenging time for any person, you don't have the energy to worry about anyone else.

You don't want to have to worry about status changes and every action your ex is taking. You don't need to be constantly notified of your ex when you're trying to get over him or her.

Have you recently broken up with your ex? If you have, do you want to get back together?


Try it for sixty days risk free

Reference: Johnny_Z_Scarelli

Tips to Find Your True Love

Do you know what true love is? Have you found your true love? The following are the tips to get your true love.

There is no single definition of true love. It is not easy to find. You need ideal thinking and condition to find it.

1. You do not need to chase it
Love does not come to those who look for it. If you have just broken up with your lover, focus your self on your own life. You do not need to rush to find a new lover. You have to enjoy your own life first.

2. Give time for your self
Find your positive aura. If you feel satisfy with yourself, your positive aura will automatically spread out. When you have come to this, everyone around you will see it. It will be your attractiveness.

3. Open up your heart for someone new
If you are ready for a new relationship, you can now determine what kind of person you want to be your lover. You can choose someone new not only based on her/his physical appearance, but also the character and the mental.

4. Get along and hang out
It will give you big chance to meet new people. One of them may possible to attract your attention and become your true love.

5. Take the risk
When you feel that you have met someone who can fit your criteria of true love, do not be hesitate to step up. Start to get along and have a new relationship. That chance will not come twice.

6. Love Your Own Self
The most important thing of all is that you have to love yourself first. Live happily with your hope. Convince yourself that everyone is made in couples. But, you have to find that right person in the right time.



Reference: Jacob_G_Sebastian

How to Get a Girlfriend Back When You Have Let Yourself Go

Ruth and Simon had been going out for a little over 3 years. Neither of them wanted to get married, but they decided that they would cut the cost of having two homes and move in together. Simon had the bigger place, so they decided to make their home at Simon's place.
Now Ruth had been to Simon's many times over the years, but it was only when she actually made the decision to move into Simon's place that she found she just couldn't. She actually found that the problem was both Simon's apartment, and Simon himself.
Simon was what some men like to call a "real man". Unfortunately, Simon had taken this to extremes. He had stopped shaving and his hair was a mess. Clothes were strewn all over the apartment, which hadn't been cleaned for some considerable time.
The bathroom was dirty and the kitchen a mess of unwashed plates and a cooker that was covered in old cooked food.
Ruth had often quietly suggested to Simon that he might clean himself up a little, but Simon never took her seriously and ignored the advice.
The moral of this article is that so often, guys just don't notice what they have become. It's like getting older, because the process of physical change is so slow, we don't notice any changes in our appearance until we see an old picture of ourselves from 15 years before.
It's the same at home. We guys just don't see dirt and dust, together with general untidiness as we get so used to it.
So here are some simple tips if you're in Simon's position.

1. Personal Hygiene.
Shower and shave every day. Keep your hair clean and invest in some male toiletries. Become a "new man" if you like with moisturisers the works!

2. Change Your Clothes.
I don't just mean wear clean clothes - update your wardrobe if you need to. Throw away some of those awful items you've held onto for so long!

3. Hire a Cleaner.
If you are too busy to tidy up and vacuum the place, hire someone on a weekly or bi weekly basis to come in and clean the place for you.

4. Make an Effort.
When you go to bed, instead of leaving that half eaten pizza on the floor by you chair, pick it up and dispose of it. Just take a few small steps to keep the place tidy yourself.
As it happens, that's exactly what Simon did, and after a little work and effort, won his old girlfriend back. How do I know? I was Simon!

Reference:James_Rutherford

These Tips Will Make Him Notice You Yet Again

When a man starts tuning out, it means he has something going on in his mind that he thinks is more interesting than what you are saying or doing. So, how do you get his attention back, the way he used to give it to you? Here are some tips which will help you a lot...
Try hard not to nag

The first thing that makes a man tune out is a voice - or a tone of voice - that even remotely sounds like nagging. You may not think it's nagging, but in his world it might be the worst form of nagging. If you keep on repeating the same thing, constantly telling him (as opposed to reminding or discussing) about certain things, he will certainly get annoyed.

There's no excuse for shouting
The softer your voice, the more eagerly he will listen. Shouting at him makes him feel like you don't respect him, but if you speak with him (as opposed to speaking TO him) in a gentle, pleasant manner - no matter how upset you are - he is more likely to pay attention.

Don't force him to listen
Throwing tantrums, turning off the TV, stomping your feet, or any attempt to get his attention in this manner will probably amuse him at first, but will annoy him in the long run. He will probably pretend to listen, just to make you stop, but he will eventually try to get away from all this.

Don't be desperate neither act like you are
Sulking, being depressed, clinging, or acting like the whole world has collapsed on you will not help you in getting the attention that you crave for. In fact, this attitude will probably make him walk away.

Instead, enjoy life
Be a happy person. Draw your happiness from within yourself. Do things that you enjoy, be productive, be independent. Go out with your friends, pamper yourself a bit. Do things that would build your self-confidence. Confidence is a magnet that draws attention.

Pull back a little
Men are hunters by nature and they do get lazy in a relationship sometimes, especially if they're confident that their "prize catch" has already been caught. If you pull back a little - like being slightly out of reach without really going away - you will switch on his hunting mode & he will be more eager to talk to you.

BE interesting so he won't get bored
The only way to actually get his attention is for you to be interesting enough for him. Find the woman that you were before, the one that he fell in love with, and be that woman all over again.

Pay Close Attention Here-
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Reference: Krista_Hiles