Intimacy, Happiness and Pleasures

Intimacy starts with the self. It is based on accurate knowledge of who we are- who we really are - and being able to decode and decipher what we feel. Self honesty and having a strong sense of our own identity are fundamental requirements. We also need to feel safe and secure enough within ourselves to be open and vulnerable with our mates, to reveal ourselves as both strong and weak, courageous and fearful, adult and childlike. Intimacy involves trust. We must be able to trust ourselves and trust that we can truly be ourselves with our partner and what they are safe to be themselves with us.

Intimacy in love relationships is as necessary to both men and women as the oxygen we breathe. But can everyone be intimate, both emotionally and sexually? Intimacy is a problem for those of us who have not attained a sense of identity. When one fears the loss of one's identity - by merging with the other person becoming one with them, losing that precious piece of you which you feel is all you have- that person begins to move away from intimate relationships, in friendships and in love/sexual bonding

So we are not as happy as we might be - not in our everyday lives, not in our love lives. And it is not because our lives or our loves are lacking. Rather it is because most of us have lost the ability to fully take pleasure in what we have.

Happiness involves skills for everyday living that few people consistently practice. Instead of taking pride in our accomplishments, we tend to be self-critical. Instead of holding positive visions of the future, we run worst case scenarios, thinking that is the way to be prepared for emergencies. Rather than regularly expressing appreciation to those we love, we find fault with them, hoping to make them "better". Genuine pride in job well done, maintaining hope even during hard times, spontaneously expressing gratitude to someone- these are some of the simple pleasures that can enrich and vitalize our everyday lives, which we do not enjoy often enough.

Reference: Virgogenie_Loh

Reconsidering Your Past Relationship

In a relationship, when words are too hard to say, actions can be a meaningful way to show how you feel about a person. The right actions can build bridges and put out fires when the timing is right.

If you want an ex back, a very powerful way to signal your interest is to keep being nice to your ex. Being nice will open up the communication channels necessary for two people to get back together again.

So here are a few suggestions on how you can be nice to your ex.

Calling an ex to ask how he is doing is one way to be nice. Just make sure to make the call friendly and short so you don't pressure your ex.

Next, if you were helping him out on something, continue helping him, especially if it is important. If you two still find it difficult to be around each other then ask a friend to take over. Of course, the underlying message will not be lost on your ex and that is that you still care about him.

Remember, keep taking care of yourself. When a person is heartbroken the tendency is that they stop caring for their looks. You should not give in to your depression. Instead, be positive and keep looking good. Showing your strength is a way to get your ex to become interested in you again.

You want you ex to realize what a nice and special person you are and that taking another chance with you is well worth it. By being positive you will open your ex up for the thought of reconciliation.

So remember this tip and be nice to your ex because this technique has been tried and tested all over the world. See how kindness can make love bloom yet again.

Reference: Jake_Langston

Domestic Abuse - How To Recognize If It Is Happening To You

There are many women all over the world these days that are going through domestic abuse. This is a serious problem, but many women don't even realize that this is happening to them. That is why you need to know how to recognize if this is what you are going through.
First, you need to know what exactly this type of abuse is. It is when a family member or loved one dominates you using either emotional or physical violence. They are doing their best to take your power away from you by controlling you in every aspect possible.
Now that you know that important information you need to know that there are many ways you can determine if you are being abused. Here are some of the signs for abuse that you want to be on the lookout for.
1. If your partner accuses you of being unfaithful when you know you have been faithful.
2. Does everything they possibly can to keep you from spending any time with your friends or family.
3. Likes to criticize you for any small thing, even without provocation.
4. Whenever they are able to they will do their best to be sure they humiliate you in front of people, no matter where you are.
5. Breaks your possessions on purpose, especially any that mean something special to you.
6. When they use alcohol or drugs, they turn violent and take their anger out on you.
7. Threatens you with violence for any small thing you do, even when they are not drinking or doing drugs.
8. They use violence on you when they are angry, even if you didn't do anything.
9. Takes control over the amount of money you are able to spend or even make.
10. Likes to make you do things against your will.
These are just some of the more common signs that you are going through abuse. If you believe you are being abused, then you can't let it continue because it won't stop until you make it stop.
The best way to get away from your abuser is to get help from outside the home. You can see help from friends and family, but the best thing to do is to go to the proper authorities for help.
Domestic abuse is not something anyone wants to believe they are dealing with, but too many people do. Don't ever assume that it will just end or get better over time because it won't. You have to do the smart thing and get away from your abuser and seek as much help as you can get. Otherwise, you will find that your life is literally in danger; so do something about it now because you are the only one that can decide you have had enough.

Reference: Jeff_Schuman 

Healthy Self-Esteem

It All Starts With Your Beliefs

Most people have heard the statement, "If you can dream it, you can do it," but few people actually take it to heart. For some reason big goals seem unattainable and an "I can't" mentality takes over.

While everyone experiences negative thoughts from time to time, you may need to make an extra effort to get through these challenges. Positive thoughts must be victorious in the end!

Tips For Developing Self-Esteem

Developing a healthy self-esteem doesn't need to be a difficult task. There are small changes you can make to get yourself on the right track.

Try following these strategies to help you develop a healthy self-esteem:

1. Ignore negativity from others. For some reason, many people get into the habit of putting others down. You know you shouldn't listen to these people, but sometimes you take what they're saying to heart. It's especially hurtful when it's coming from someone you love.? * Some people will even steer you in the wrong direction because they think they're doing the right thing. When it comes down to it, you're the only one that knows yourself and your dreams. You simply can't let anyone stand in the way!

2. Learn to accept compliments. You might toss off compliments as lies because some people may have ulterior motives. While this might be true, in most cases people are being genuine. After all, most people won't go out of their way to give you a false compliment.

* Accepting compliments will help you discover what you're good at and strengthen your self-confidence.

3. Get a life coach. Life coaches are in the business of helping you live your life to its fullest potential. You don't need to be scared or embarrassed to seek one out. If a life coach doesn't seem feasible for you! , you ca n look into getting some self-help guides.

* Go online or to a local bookstore to find some relevant workbooks and resources.

4. Use affirmations. Affirmations are great self-esteem boosters because they show your brain what you already know you can achieve. They bring positive energy into the present moment.

* You can read affirmations on the subjects of your choice or you can get into the habit of writing your own affirmations. Nothing can be more targeted to your true feelings than your own words!

5. Avoid comparing yourself to others. It's easy to get into the habit of comparing yourself negatively to other people. Remind yourself that everyone is unique. You're equipped with your own set of strengths and weaknesses, so the best thing you can do for yourself is concentrate on developing your own strengths.

Follow Your Dreams

Once you've worked on your initial feelings about self worth, it's time to take a step in the right direction. A part of a healthy self-esteem is having the drive to take action toward your goals.

Have a plan and follow through. If you feel that you've improved your self-esteem but then fail to take action towards your dream, it will only be a matter of time before your self-esteem begins to wane again.

When you're faced with challenges, actively seek solutions. When you do, you'll soon notice what a positive role your healthy self-esteem plays in your life!